Two years
and the Truth
It's been a
while, quite a while since I last released a book. Almost two years in fact. There
are reasons for that, some boring, some personal, some were just part of life,
but I'm going to tell you about it.
I don't
share a lot of personal stuff, other than pictures of my family, because I just
adore my family. My husband and daughter are my moon and earth. So, I love to
share things about them. But myself? Not so much. This time I will because it
affects my books. So here goes.
Writing
is... the most amazing adventure. I live in places that I imagine, experience
things, and meet people I'd never have the chance to in the real world. The
best part is sharing those things with other people. But like any adventure,
there are snags along the road. Sometimes, the car won't start, or your luggage
gets lost, maybe you trip and fall in a mud puddle and lose your binoculars. My
point is that I hit a few bumps. This book wasn't the issue, it was all me.
You see, I
suffer from severe anxiety and I tripped on my own feet. Suddenly Royal did so
well and it was the most amazing surprise. I've never felt so grateful and in
awe of a moment. But, soon all of the stars that filled my eyes and heart were
quickly replaced by dark clouds. It felt as if the whole world rested on my
shoulders. I spent months suffering from imposter syndrome and convinced that
it all had been a fluke. I second guessed every decision I made while writing.
I rewrote everything many times and basically drove myself insane. I spent so
much time worrying about everything, anything, that I missed out enjoying so
much of life.
And I
decided that wasn't healthy. It wasn't healthy; I wasn't healthy. I needed
change. So I stepped back, I scaled down everything, and focused on getting my
anxiety under control, on being well. I took things slowly, I learned to be
patient with myself, and that meant unhurried book releases. I worked on
Bedmates until I was sure that I'd written the book that I wanted, created
something in which I was proud.
I'm telling
you all this because I think I owe it to the readers that have been with me
from the very first book. A two year gap in the publishing world is an eternity
and I know some probably wondered if I fell off the face of the earth… or if
I’d given up. I didn't! I just decided to make sure I was in a place to give
you the very best book possible...
And I feel
like I've done that. Bedmates comes out in three weeks. TWO. WEEKS. I love this
book. I love Maddie and Jake. I love their story. I love continuing the Royal
world. And I really hope that you all love it too. (But good
grief, somehow in the last two years, time has lessened the memory of my
anxiety during book releases. HOLY COW! The fear and nerves are intense but
that's okay! It's part of the whole experience. I'm genuinely excited that I
FINALLY get to share this book with you.)
So, if
you've been waiting for another book from me you don't have long now. October
4th is just around the corner.
I've now
spilled my guts to everyone and will get back to gearing up for the release and
putting the finishing touches on the next book in the series.
I’m going to
leave you all with my thanks. Thanks for your patience, your understanding, and
continued support. And please, if you suffer from anxiety or anything else, remember to be kind to yourself.
You're always worth the wait. How long that is, irrelevant.
ReplyDeleteTotally true!!!!
DeleteCan't wait!!! :) :) :) I pre-ordered my copy!! WHOOP WHOOP!!!!
ReplyDeleteLuvers you lots! And I, too, am in your shoes. It's a daily struggle, for sure. But try to remember how special and wonderful you are! How loved you are, too. I'm super excited for this release and know it'll be a wonderful experience! I'm so happy for you and wish you great things! ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteSo much sympathy for your struggle. Remind yourself how much bravery and strength it took to get to today. And I can't WAIT for Bedmates!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIn the past twenty or so years I've only attended 3 family events that I can remember. My anxiety kicks in at loud, large family gatherings. Especially weddings, Bar/Bat Mitzvas and even a Bris. I stay home and let my spouse and kids represent me.
ReplyDeleteThis now has to change as with the death of the last upper generational member, I AM NOW MY FAMILY Elder. That includes my family of 20, my younger cousins who with children and grand children we number close to sixty (just first cousins and their brooks). When I spoke to my younger cousin (a lawyer with a large national firm) he told me "Better You Then ME!" Scary huh?